Cathy's Diary: Entry 5



It was the fight that set it all in motion.

There are moments in life that bring everything together. Today was one of them, where each complicated feeling I’ve been having got tangled together, wrapped in a ball of yarn that would not unravel unless something gave out. I knew it was going to come to a head sometime; I just wish Dwight wasn’t the one who had to get hurt in the thick of it all.

Relationships are hard. Of course, Junior is sweet, kind, and a hopeless romantic: everything I ever thought I wanted. But, lately, I’ve had Dwight on my mind more and more. I’m sure you can tell. I keep wanting to prove to him that I’m not that person I was in that kitchen in front of my disapproving parents. Though, maybe it’s more than that. I want to be the person I was in that kitchen, before my family had to meddle and ruin the moment. There is something about Dwight that just makes me excited, like the world is brimming with endless possibilities.

It doesn’t even matter now. Instead, I have to worry if Dwight will even be okay. I cannot believe Lawrence did that, coming toward me like that and forcing Dwight to defend me. I cannot believe that he hurt Dwight so badly in response. I cannot believe Junior got involved. Most of all, I cannot imagine what Henry may have said to start it all. Did he try to blame me for what he did with Charles Dupont? Is this his form of getting revenge? Then I think about what Ray said on the phone and wonder: Is it something deeper and darker?

I can barely sleep, and my dreams have followed me into the daytime. I hear that voice calling my name as I stand alone, lost in the chaos of it all. Perhaps it’s saying something to me, that I need to make a change.

The country is coming undone, and so is our little town. I don’t know where it all will lead, but I know I want to stand on the right side of things. It’s just not always easy to know what side that is.